Make You Feel My Love
by jensmiling
Summary: FINCHEL!Rachel and Finn return back to school after the Christmas break, still no closer to being together, will they find their way back? Spoilers/spec for Superbowl and Valentines Day eps. Finchel, Puckleberry friendship no romance  and possible Quick.
1. Chapter 1: You Haven't Made Your Mind Up

_I'm fully commited to my facebook fic (New Connections) right now, but I keep thinking a lot about the upcoming episodes and the spec surrounding them. This is my take on spoilers for the Superbowl episode and the Valentines day one. It is a little similar to my past fic Metaphors but will also be from Finn's POV and there is more Puck/Quinn. Just a little something I had in my head and had to get out, if I get good reviews I'll continue._

_

* * *

__I can't believe the snow is still here_, I think, as I carefully tred outside my front door. Immediately the water seeps through my golden ballet pumps. I grimace as my shoes begin to squelch. I should have picked more sensible shoes but it has taken me years to cultivate my image and an upcoming starlet shouldn't let a little bit of bad Ohio weather get in the way of a cute outfit.

Although they're constantly criticised I happen to adore my collection of polka dot dresses, animal print sweaters and short tartan skirts. I've loved knee socks since pre-school and they're practical too, like keeping my legs warm in this weather. But mostly I like routine. I like to have a plan, a strategy. I like it when things stay the same. Despite my recent heartbreak I have worked hard to keep everything the same. My exercise routine. My healthy eating plan. My family tradition of a takeout and movie during the holiday season.

Except that he's not there and because of that everything seems different.

* * *

As my pink Volvo pulls into the lot I check my rear view mirror. White sparkly teeth? Check. Bangs combed so the fall just below my eyebrow? Check. Waterproof mascara? Check. And just so we're clear, the waterproof mascara is to ensure I don't get caught in one of Lima's frequent rain storms, which are really horrendous. Sometimes I used to hang out it in the rain, just as it begun, because I knew sooner or later Finn would arrive and he loves that part of the day, the smell it makes. That's kind of desperate when I think about it. Just so we're clear again, the mascara is not for him. I've cried enough tears over him, _over us._

Noah is waiting for me at my locker. I'm immediately concerned because he has a Blueberry Slushie in his hand. This means I'm either getting slushied (at least I have my waterproof mascara) or he's trying to get into my pants again. Neither is a particularly good option.

"Hi" he says nervously, hands in pockets. "I got you this, Blueberry's your favourite flavour right?"

I shake my head as my lips curl into a smile. "Actually it's grape, but I tend to shun these types of drinks altogether Noah. They're full of sugar and empty calories. I prefer to get a rush through a natural diet and exercise routine."

"Geez you're frickin high maintenance woman!" he exclaims as he takes the straw out of his pocket.

I open my mouth to defend myself but I figure if he's taken the time to wait at my locker and hasn't start to feel me up by now, then he must want to say something important.

"It's an apology okay?" he shouts loudly, "Just take it." I roll my eyes as I take a sip. Despite its artificial bright blue colour, it does taste pretty good and the sugar rush hits me immediately. "For what Noah," I ask, growing more panicked as I check the contents of my purse. "Did you steal something again?"

"No I didn't steal jack!" he exclaims loudly "I'm just apologising in my part in what went down last week. You and Finn you're frickin perfect for each other and once again the Puckerman comes in and fucks things up."

"It's fine" I say quietly. I notice Finn at his locker in this distance. He's pretending to be occupied at the notebook, but considering he only uses it to play hangman with Artie in Math class, I know he's watching us.

I lower my voice. "I was to blame too Noah, I was the one who invited you over. I did it out of revenge, to be petty and for that I'm totally ashamed." I wish in a way that my cheating was something more meaningful, part of chemistry I couldn't ignore. Because the truth; the fact that I set out to do something deliberately mean, is a little hard to swallow.

"I don't get it, me and you Berry. The only time we ever get together is when you fight with Finn or want to make him jealous, I'm usually the one that calls the shots with chicks but sometimes I feel you have me by the balls!" He leans it to whisper and as I feel his breath on me I know Finn is watching closely.

I nod sadly, "the truth is Noah, you have really nice arms, you are a great singer and we share an important religious connection and in any other world that would be the foundation of some kind of relationship. But next to what I have with Finn" I correct myself, pained. "…_had _with Finn" it just pales to insignificance. I don't know what it is, but it's not anything real or anything that could ever resemble a relationship." I take another gulp of my drink, it's artificial sugary ingredients are surprisingly comforting.

"I know," he replies "I don't think anything I've had could come close to you and Finn" I watch as he looks off into the distance, watching Quinn with Sam. He's lightly pressed against her locker and she's leaning forward to kiss him, laughing softly. She's loosly twirling her ponytail in one hand and pulling him closer to her with the other. I don't regret calling them Barbie and Ken, a part of me thinks they're too polished, too perfect. It's a little difficult to know where the facade ends and true feelings begin. He catches me looking in the same direction and sighs, "hey it's cool, we weren't serious, it's not like we had a baby together or anything together" he jokes and I laugh, patting his arm. It seems the polite thing to do and it means he manages to pull himself away from staring at them.

"Maybe it's a kind of weird ass friendship" he adds "hell knows you could use a friend right now considering you're a total loner Berry." He's back to his normal self at least, insulting me. I nod and he holds out his arm "walk you to Glee?"

I shut my locker with some force and begin to walk, politely declining the arm he's holding out to me. Finn's heading in the same direction and I'm done playing mind games to make him jealous, but at the same time Noah's right. I could use a friend right now. I need a friend, I need someone right now. Because at the moment it doesn't feel like I have very much at all.

* * *

I love Mondays because Glee is first period. In my book, there's nothing like some vocal warm ups to get the day off to a truly superb start. It also reminds me of my purpose, reinforces my desire to be a star. As we enter I trail a little behind so it looks like we haven't arrived together. I've learnt the High School gossip mill is truly horrific and if I'm seen standing close to Noah, it'll be all over the blogs by lunch time. Unfortunately, my decision to hold back means there is only one seat left. At the back of the room, which I usually hate as being at the front means I can leap up and deliver an impromtue performance before anyone has the chance to stop me. However, maybe it will be good today, a chance to slink in my seat a little, to go unnoticed. Of course, I think, as I make my way up to the back, the seat would have to be next to _him_. He sighs as he moves his bag, placing it underneath the chair beneath him. I pull out my notebook and pen and flip it open at what I think is an empty page to start making notes but there it is, in clear black ink, Finn Hudson's messy scrawl.

_Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry 4Ever._

_I love Rachel Berry. Her lips taste like strawberries._

_I'm bored, where are we going for dinner again? I like your sweater today._

_What was the French homework again babe?_

Whilst I'm always fully involved in Glee rehearsals, Finn gets a little bored, so I used to let him use my notebook. I always got a secret thrill when I saw the little notes he left me. Except it's now open on that page and I'm staring at it and Finn's staring at it. We're both staring at it, blinking, almost as if we do it enough we can somehow erase the messages he wrote.

I remove the lid off my pen and I'm not sure if it's cruel to start crossing out the messages but the pain they're causing me is horrific. It's an acute reminder of what could have been if I hadn't made a mistake. I turn over the page and find a clean slate. I begin to write the heading and sigh in frustration as the pen gives out and refuses to write. Finn watches carefully and then without warning, takes the book out of my hand and slams it on the floor.

Luckily the rest of the Glee clubbers don't notice as he mumbles an apology, he leans down to pick it up at the same time I do and all of a sudden we collide. I'm staring into his eyes, feeling the sparks I used to feel when I first fell in love. When we first met and more than anything in the world I just wanted to kiss him. He makes no attempt to pick up the book and instead moves his thumb towards me, gently stroking my bangs. "I'm sorry" he says again. I'm not sure if he means for the book or for hurting me, but either way I really don't care right now. His hand moves to the back of my head as he is inches closer towards me. I sigh as I inhale the scent of his breath and gently curl the back of his hair with my finger. His lips are so close to mine now and he presses them towards me. Everything, I think, will be okay once he kisses me. He'll remember. He'll remember us.

A loud voice fills the room and the sensation, the magic dissolves. Mr Shue places his briefcase on the floor and turns to address us. Finn swiftly jumps up to his seat and if my fellow Glee clubbers notice they don't let on, their full attention (minus Brittany who appears to playing with a barbie) focused on our teacher. I contemplate picking up my notebook that still remains on the floor, a symbol of what I've lost but I decide against it. It hurts too much.

"So guys, I am totally thrilled to announce than the New Directions will be performing at the big game this Friday night. I've already gone ahead and picked the song selection, Meet Me Halfway by The Black Eyed Peas. It's a modern, hip song, which we'll hopefully showcase the new direction we're going in. Finn, Rachel, get up here, you guys are going to take the leads."

I feel all eyes on us as we make the journey to the front of choir room, from Puck's smug smile, perhaps they did notice after all. The opening beats of the song rings out as the group assemble behind us and I've no idea how I'm going to do this. Sing with him. On the one hand it seems so natural, yet the other I think as he begins the first line, not quite willing to sing it in my direction, it seems like the hardest thing in the world.

And so it begins, I think. The heartache, the pain, the things that I've being trying to avoid over the past two weeks, over the holidays.

So it begins again.

* * *

_So that's it! Please read and review, like I say if the feedbacks good enough I'll continue._


	2. Chapter 2: but I will never do you wrong

I'm not sure where this story is going yet, the response was good but wasn't overwhelming so I let this fic lie for a while. I decided to give it another shot; so please review if you like it and want it to continue. This time it's Finn's POV.

* * *

**F****inn's POV**

_I can't go any further than this._

_I want you so bad it's my only wish_

_I can't go any further than this_

_I want you so bad it's my only wish._

__

_

* * *

_

"Alright guys!" I watch as Mr Shue claps loudly, yet he looks kind of pissed. He's doing that kind of fake smile, the kind when we tried to perform that creepy disco number for the school assembly and couldn't get it right. Or when we did that hair song and I kept getting my wig caught in my mouth. That was gross.

Yeah, I think, he's definitely pissed.

"It's an eight, maybe even an 8.5. We just need a little tweaking, perhaps a little jiggling of the choreography and we'll smash it on Friday. Big round of applause for Rachel and Finn," he adds.

I know what he really means. We suck.

No, I'm serious, we really do suck. Like even Brittany's noticed and she's pulling a weird face. And I'm pretty sure she can't even tell when someone's in tune.

The thing is, it's pretty difficult to be singing about how much I wanna meet Rachel in the middle when I just wanna get the hell away from her. And him. Preferably the hell away from everybody; especially them. Together.

Why did he have to come to her locker; bringing her that drink? Talking to her, whispering her in ear? I should be doing that. They looked like a couple. Not that I was watching; not really.

Why did she have to come in, in that cute little sweater of hers that reminds me of snuggling weather and open up her notepad? Why did she have to open it up and remind me of all the little love notes I used to write to her?

Because I loved her. _I really, really loved her._

Why did she have to drop it and then make me look at her; make me go to kiss her?

Okay, so I admit, I went to do it, but like I say _she's_ the one who wore the sweater and _she's _the onethat put that stuff on to make her eyelashes freaky long, so it's still kinda of her fault.

I wish, I wish this time it was my fault. So I could have a plan, a strategy to get her back. Except it's not. She messed up and I have to remind myself over and over not to just run back and forgive her. Because I can't be screwed up by a chick cheating on me. Again.

* * *

"Finn, can I speak with you a moment?" she asks quietly, as the rest of the group shuffle out. I know she just wants to talk about the vocal; she's giving me space and I get that. It's just… god she looks really cute right now and when she bites her bottom lip because she's nervous, I just wanna take her in my arms and kiss the hell out of her.

"Finn, as a gifted performer.." she starts. I breath a sigh of relief, because the longer she keeps talking, the more I can concentrate and the less I can give into my urges. It'll be fine. I just won't look at the sweater. Or her lips. Or her legs. Or the way her hair is really really shiny.….

How does she get it so shiny? It totally smells of strawberries too. It's awesome.

"…you must be aware that we are simply not cutting it with this performance. Whilst we both have irrevocable differences, surely we need to pull together for the sake of the team?"

I don't know what irrevocable means, but I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. Everything to do with Rach is a bad thing lately.

What does she want me to say? To agree and start fricking singing my heart out whilst we do some mad circling shit like old times? I can barely look at her so this touchy feely stuff whilst performing is just not gonna fly.

"We suck, bad." I agree, "but I dunno what we can do about it Rach! I have like football practice every night for the big game, tons of homework and I'm totally not down with spending all my time rehearsing with you for some crappy performance, which lets face it no-one's gonna care about if we win."

It's true. I used to really like practicing for Glee. Mainly because I got to spend time with Rachel, which was awesome when I was trying to get her to make out with me and dump that St Jackass kid. And when she dumped him, it was even more awesome, because after we practised, she'd let her make out with me for ages. Which was awesome.

Except now, I don't get to make out with her and I kinda hate Puck. I kinda feel a loser, so Glee makes me feel kinda shitty.

"I need to focus on my game," I add, hoisting my bag onto my shoulder. I see that's she left her notepad and I wonder if it's one of those metap... meteorite things? Something like that. She always goes on about her stars. Rachel is super organised so perhaps she left it on purpose, perhaps she doesn't want the notes I wrote anymore. I continue, "I heard some college scouts might even be in the crowd. I just hope Coach can make up the squad after Dillons and Azimo got that stomach bug. I totally knew not to eat that green thing in the cafeteria."

She smiles slightly as we exit the choir room. "Actually, that's where I come in Finn. Well, when I say I, naturally I mean myself, Mercedes and Tina. Coach Beste approached us to help out with your game project. It's actually kinda perfect because I have no sports on my current list of group participation activities and it is very important to be a well rounded student. So I can walk with you to practice and perhaps afterwards we can head to the auditorium to rehearse?"

A thousand things are swirling in my head. Okay, not a thousand, but at least five different things and it feels so full that I could burst at any minute. Like I love the way Rach says project in every sentence. Everything to Rach is a project. I guess it will be kinda cool, with her like providing me with juice and towels down during a time out. Like my personal cheerleader. Yeah I can totally dig that. It'll be like she's a super helper and Rach helps me with a lot of things. It's because of her that I actually passed Math and sums aren't that difficult when you work out how to use a calculator.

Then I see it. She's swinging a large gold fabric bag that she's grabbed from her locker. I can see the white helmet peaking out from the top of it. It seems totally ridicolous yet I'm suddenly sure I overheard Mike talking about it to Artie in homeroom, so it's actually starting makes sense.

Rachel is going to be on the football team. Like actually on the football team. Playing. On the field. In the uniform and everything.

All my images of Rachel in a super short skirt feeding me oranges evaporate and suddenly new thoughts overwhelm my head.

_There's no way in hell I am letting her on the pitch_.

_I'm pretty sure we're going to lose. I'm pretty sure I won't be star player with Rach on the pitch. There goes my football scholarship._

A final thought enters my head and it makes me want to pound my locker; clench my fist. It's all I can focus on.

_If anyone touches her. I'm gonna fucking kill them._

* * *

_So that's it. If you are enjoying this story, please review and I'll work super hard to update. Thanks. _


End file.
